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Life (to friendship) by… What exactly did you have for dinner, Pol?

26 Mar

Last night this picture message from Polly popped up on my phone and set off a spate of giggles:

Hot dog on whole wheat with mac and ketchup. SO MUCH hot dog on whole wheat with mac and ketchup.

Hot dog on whole wheat with mac and ketchup. SO MUCH hot dog on whole wheat with mac and ketchup.

Giggle 1: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. She finally got her Mac&Cheese.

Giggle 2: Thank Zeus that was Polly and not Subway Boy.

Giggle 3: OMZ, that ridiculous and far-too-soon-in-our-acquaintance picture of Greek salad from Subway Boy just became an inside joke.

Giggle 4: The glass of milk. THERE IS A GLASS OF MILK.

Giggle 5: Hot dogs are funny.

Giggle 6: What a weirdo. Who thinks: You know what would be a good dinner? A hot dog on whole wheat bread with ketchup topped with boxed mac and cheese! That would be a good dinner.

Giggle 7: How does one eat that? Knife and fork? Hands? Very carefully?????

Where are the vegetables, Pol? WHERE ARE THE VEGETABLES??

???

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St. Patrick’s Treat: Drunken Peppermint Mocha Cake

15 Mar

Happy St. Patty’s (Paddy’s??) Day, everyone! (Almost… 2 days and counting!)

If you’re looking for something minty and chocolatey and easily dyed green, try Penny’s Drunken Peppermint Mocha Cake, the perfectly tipsy sweet to cap off a day of Guinness (unless you’re a vegan, in which case, no Guinness).

Penny and Polly

You could definitely probably make this without all the booze.

But… why? I don’t have any good reasons why you would do that.

Circe had a big birthday this weekend, which if you can read Roman numerals, good for you!

In my family we don’t hug, we show affection by making elaborate meals and/or desserts designed specifically with the recipient in mind. When I think Circe, I think chocolate, more chocolate and maybe a little mint. I also think crazy if she gets anywhere near caffeinated coffee, despite all of our abiding passion for the stuff.

Birthdays in your twenties also = booze. Fact.

So… Chocolate+Mint+Coffee (Read: Crazy)+Booze…

Behold, the Drunken Peppermint Mocha Cake was born.

I know, I know. We aren’t a food blog. But… If opening a bakery/coffee shop/esoteric bookstore/literary salon/wine cellar weren’t such a terrible investment/business model, I would SO TOTALLY own that shit.

And this cake…

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Drunken Peppermint Mocha Cake

19 Nov

You could definitely probably make this without all the booze.

But… why? I don’t have any good reasons why you would do that.

Circe had a big birthday this weekend, which if you can read Roman numerals, good for you!

In my family we don’t hug, we show affection by making elaborate meals and/or desserts designed specifically with the recipient in mind. When I think Circe, I think chocolate, more chocolate and maybe a little mint. I also think crazy if she gets anywhere near caffeinated coffee, despite all of our abiding passion for the stuff.

Birthdays in your twenties also = booze. Fact.

So… Chocolate+Mint+Coffee (Read: Crazy)+Booze…

Behold, the Drunken Peppermint Mocha Cake was born.

I know, I know. We aren’t a food blog. But… If opening a bakery/coffee shop/esoteric bookstore/literary salon/wine cellar weren’t such a terrible investment/business model, I would SO TOTALLY own that shit.

And this cake is the bomb. (And it will also get you bombed.)

Don’t believe me? Here are the layers.

First: Chocolate cake

Second: Kahlua-laced chocolate pudding

Third: Crushed mint Oreos and Andes mints

Fourth: Bailey’s Mint Chocolate Coffee Liquor and whipped topping

Right?

The recipe:

For the chocolate cake layer, I made the family secret chocolate cake weapon. This is literally (and I do not use this word lightly) THE easiest chocolate cake you will ever make. Easier than a box mix because you don’t even have to crack an egg. Read, learn and never make another chocolate cake recipe ever again. Continue reading

Penny’s Wishlist Lunch Meets with Success

12 Nov

Menu:

Spaghetti squash tossed with EVOO, chopped artichokes, garlic, oregano (cut squash in half, scrape out the seeds, roast cut-side-down on baking sheet at 400F for approx 30-45 minutes until tender, scrape out with a fork, toss with desired ingredients, enjoy not-pasta pasta deliciousness).

Roasted Brussels sprouts (quarter and coat with EVOO and desired spices, roast or broil for 15 minutes). ((The crispy, burnt pieces are the best part.))

Results:

Polly might be converted to rabbit food. Except not because mmmmmmmmmmmm bacon. Penny might never need to eat real spaghetti again.

It really looks/tastes like (al dente) pasta!

Penny’s Weekend Grocery Wish List

9 Nov

Hi, Pol!

So… I know that mostly we are going out to dinner because that’s the way life worked out. BUT. You mentioned cooking a nice lunch on Sunday before I have to catch my bus of doom back to [MY CITY].

Can we go to Trader Joe’s? Can we? Can we????

Because I have an ingredients wish list, the items on which Sister and BIL have vehemently vetoed.

  • Kale. It’s all the rage and I really enjoy it sauteed with a little garlic. Let’s play with it! Maybe a salad?
  • Spaghetti squash. I mean, really. Pasta without the calories? SO MUCH POTENTIAL. (Martha agrees!)
  • Brussels sprouts. I need to make my roasted Brussels sprouts for you because they are delicious.
  • Pomegranate Seeds for our breakfast yogurt because I somehow have still not tried these?
  • Organic, Fair Trade coffee of some sort that I will buy you because it is my life’s blood

Love,

Penny, the rabbit

P.S. It is my favorite time of the year. The NY Times Interactive Vegetarian Thanksgiving is BACK. That Jalapeno Spoon Bread? It needs to get in my mouth yesterday.

(Ed. Note: OF COURSE WE CAN GO TO TRADER JOE’S to pick up your ridiculous rabbit food that I’m sure will actually be delicious. But we also have to get MY favorite Trader Joe’s product: Intentionally oblong “Dunkers” cookies that fit into any sized glass of milk. -Polly)

Halloween Overkill Waffles

31 Oct

Or, How Many Tasty Nouns Can I Fit in One Breakfast?

Or, What Happens When Polly and Aunt Flow are Stuck in Her Apartment for Three Days

I’m endlessly lucky that my power didn’t go out once amidst all this hurricane havoc. But after watching House Hunters International for so many hours I started to get a little stir-crazy. And that’s when my inventive side kicked in. When I was little I used to spend hours on rainy days combining the realms of Barbies and My Little Ponies. They were all dressed and styled fabulously. Skipper and Starlight were bffs. But now I’m a grown up and I either play with food or paint chips.

So at 11:30 yesterday morning when I was tired of watching tv in bed after four hours, I dragged my sweatpants-covered butt to the kitchen and decided to throw everything I had into a seasonal waffle of joy. And for those who don’t want to consume their entire day’s calories in one intensely loaded magic waffle, take a look at the healthier variation.

Jam-filled Apple Cider Pumpkin Snickers Milky Way Three Musketeers Waffles

Storm Trooper spatula was a Christmas gift from Molly. The gift that keeps on giving!

Ingredients: Continue reading

Baked Mac and Cheese: The Mancatcher

18 Oct

Or – How to Make Your Apartment Smell Like Asiago for Three Days

I’m not really the June Cleaver type. Ok, my apartment is adorable and I made my own curtains BUT I also love my job and don’t love babies or constricting gender roles. REGARDLESS. Sometimes playing house is great fun. So when Oxford Comma came over last weekend I decided to pull out all the stops. (He already made me a delicious dinner the week prior anyway.) Folks, the way to a man’s heart is through a four-cheese blend melted into al dente ziti.

The first time I made this recipe (adapted from Smitten Kitchen) I didn’t have enough cheddar so I threw in all the cheeses in my refrigerator. It worked out stupendously. And I have this Cajun seasoning blend I’m addicted to so it goes on EVERYTHING. So here goes, Polly’s man-trapping mac and cheese:

Ingredients:

1 cup cottage cheese (You pick how much fat you want in there.)
2 cups milk (Samezies.)
1 teaspoon dry mustard
Pinch McCormick Cajun Seasoning (Or generous heapings, according to taste.) ((Ed. Note: or. OR. Old Bay if you’re Penny.))
Pinch nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
About 8 oz shredded sharp or extra-sharp cheddar (Extra-sharp, duh.)
About 5 oz shredded asiago
About 3 oz grated gouda
1/2 pound ziti, uncooked

Directions:

1. Heat the oven to 375 and grease a 9″ baking dish.
2. Blend the cottage cheese, milk, and seasonings in a food processor.
3. Mix all the grated and shredded cheeses together and set aside 1/4 cup.
4. Stir the milk/cottage cheese mixture, shredded cheese mixture, and uncooked ziti in the baking dish.
5. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.
6. Remove the cover, stir gently, and sprinkle on the remaining cheese. (This is how you get that cheesy golden crust without breadcrumbs.)
7. Bake for another 30 minutes.
8. EAT while watching Hocus Pocus and gradually pass out from your food coma.

And now you’re mine!

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