Archive | July, 2012

Observation – Summer Curling

31 Jul
Polly:  The summer olympics needs more obscure, unpopular sports. My dad and I always bond over our fascination with curling in the winter but everything in the summer is just a little too legitimate.
Penny:  I was JUST talking about that with Deucalion and Pyrrha. There should be a summer equivalent to curling. And, no, dressage does not count.
Polly:  Whatever happened to rhythmic gymnastics?
Penny:  Artistic gymnastics is going by the wayside.They’re all power gymnasts these days.
Polly:  Right, let’s bring back olympic hula hooping and ribbon dancing.*
Penny: There has to be something as ridiculous as curling for the summer games.
Polly: I don’t know, Pen. Can anything match the sheer anticipation of a good curling match? Holding your breath between the skip and the end, unsure if the sweepers will successfully guide the rock to the center of the house?
Penny: Curling jargon aside, the best way to spice up the games might be a return to the Olympics’ nudist roots. That way Ryan Lochte wouldn’t be allowed to wear grills.
Polly: I vote Penny for 2016 Olympic Committee Chairperson.

After noticing a need for new and exciting athletic competitions, Penny and Polly present

Potential Obscure Olympic Sports for the 2016 Games:
Olympic Shuffle Board
Olympic Kanjam
Olympic Corn Hole
Olympic Jacks
Olympic [any of these]

*Editor’s Note – Olympic Rhythmic Gymnastics is indeed alive and kicking. The Proprietress’ of this site apologize for belittling this artform in any manner. Just look at how BENDY these girls are! (I can’t catch a ball when I’m looking at it and she catches it with her arabesqued leg????????????” -Penthesilia)

Penny’s Current Events Corner – ‘Romneyshambles’ Continues to Tour

30 Jul

Charles Krauthammer (conservative commentator) on Romney’s diplomatic prowess in London:

“It’s unbelievable, it’s beyond human understanding, it’s incomprehensible. I’m out of adjectives… All the man has to do is say nothing.” (No, I didn’t take it out of context, unlike some we could name. Cough.)

Other notable quotes from the mouth of the man himself:

Mr. Romney on Iran – “They want to know who will object and who will look the other way. We will not look away nor will our country ever look away from our passion and commitment to Israel. [Iran is] the most destabilizing nation in the world, [and the US has] a solemn duty and a moral imperative to deny Iran’s leaders the means to follow through on their malevolent intentions”.

(Morals are a tricky thing, you know. All relativistic and shit.)

Mr. Romney on Israel – “It is a deeply moving experience to be in Jerusalem, the capital of Israel,” he said.

(I’m sure the Palestinians were overjoyed to learn that their capital isn’t their capital after all.) ((I have no opinion on whose capital it is other than to say that it’s not my opinion to have – this is an argument that has been going on since forever and I’m well out of it.)) (((The opinion I do have is that Hills probably wants to wring a certain neck supporting a certain well-coiffed head; things have not been so smooth with the Palestinians of late.)))

For more potentially biased but hopefully accurate reportage, I refer you to the BBC (one does hope that the Brits’ stiff upper lips will succeed in informing their own moral imperative to engage in unbiased journalism). Should you care for the liberal slant, we recommend Slate and Salon. Charles Krauthammer really said it all for the conservatives, but for other interpretations, here’s Fox News.

<500,000 Views – Alex Clare

30 Jul

Ok, so Too Close has WAY more than 500,000 views thanks to that commercial.

But we haven’t heard Alex Clare on the radio (yet) and it’s likely we won’t for quite a while if the ridiculous amount of time it took for Stateside stations to pick up Adele back in the day is any indication.

So, here’s another track off his album, Lateness of the Hour.

Talking about music is a little like talking about wine – so many words crowding together in an attempt to describe something that isn’t explained so much as experienced. I refuse to try.

So, if you generally like music tagged as electronica, dubstep, soul (yes, soul… dude’s got blues), etc., check him out:

OMZ! – These.

30 Jul

We’re not sure we even want diamonds. And definitely not any time soon.

But.

Ohmyzeus these rings.

Harry Winston “Belle” solitaire ring. Price upon request. Go to harrywinston.com.

Musings – Room Temperature Turkey

27 Jul

For those of you contemplating friendship after a big break-up, please heed the following.

Well-meaning friends will likely suggest completely ceasing all contact with your former partner for a significant time. This is sound advice, given with the intention of allowing the break-er the space she needs to heal. But the idea of quitting anything or anyone cold turkey is overwhelmingly intimidating.

You resist.

After years of confiding in him daily, enduring hardships, celebrating successes, and associating your ex with just about everything you see or do or wear or hear or eat, cutting him out of your life (even temporarily) can seem like an undeserved insult to the memory of everything good about your relationship.

You know it isn’t working, but you can’t give him up; he is everywhere. So you compromise. A few Facebook “likes” here and there never hurt anyone!

Don’t fool yourself; the warning label is emblazoned across the packaging for a reason. Continue reading

Observation No. Whatever – How (Not) to Win at Comment Wars

27 Jul

I recently (and somewhat inadvertently) became embroiled in one of those dreaded political comment wars on Facebook. (I liked a video, made some inane comment like “hahahhaah OMZ, so funny” and was subsequently inundated with notifications: So-and-so also commented on…)

SIGH.

Now, Polly and I are great friends with somewhat divergent views on any number of subjects. (I’m the Liber- and she’s the -tarian.) But there is one thing we can absolutely without doubt agree on: If you’re going to make claims that veer wildly to the Right OR the Left, then you damn well better do so grammatically.

You see, there’s this little thing in rhetoric called ETHOS. (Yup, that’s right, we’re finally pulling out the Greek words.)

Continue reading

OMZ! – 50 Shades of Baseball

27 Jul

The Nats read Fifty Shades

The Washington Nationals are on top… and boy do the boys in the bullpen like being there.

It’s been hot and steamy and, dare we say it, a little sultry in the Capital lately. The temperature at Nat’s Stadium? Just a little bit hotter than everywhere else in the District:

The synchronized page turn! The synchronized page turn!!

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