Winning at Elitist Cocktail Parties

HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPENED TO YOU?

Man in sweatervest with fancy whisky cocktail: When it comes to writing about war, I think no work is more successful than Wilfred Owen’s Dulce et Decorum Est at portraying unrelenting brutality and anxiety.

You: Totally.

Never again! With this 5 minute course from the Huffington Post, you will be able to skillfully discuss those greatbooks you never got around to in undergrad. Just a quick scroll through a brief slide show and you’ll be deftly critiquing the works of Hemingway, Faulkner, Steinbeck, and others with confidence and ease! And best of all, it’s ABSOLUTELY FREE!

Man in sweatervest with fancy whisky cocktail: When it comes to writing about war, I think no work is more successful than Wilfred Owen’s Dulce et Decorum Est at portraying unrelenting brutality and anxiety.

You: On the contrary, I found that Vonnegut’s imaginative use of science fiction in Slaughterhouse Five bolstered his depiction of the absurdity of war and inevitability of death.

Language Wars

We are nerds.

Ergo, we think this fascinating debate from the NYTimes is worth a read. (N.B. We do not approve their message re: Strunk & White because Elements of Style (the illustrated edition, of course) will always be definitive ioho.)

Which language and grammar rules are worth defending, and which should bow quietly as they exit stage left? Well, as a president once said: “We don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

(Penny absolutely refuses to give up on the subjunctive past. And also adverbs – she hurt you realLY badLY, people. LY.) ((Polly actually has been known to correct men in intimate situations. Protip: If you want her bad you aren’t going to get anywhere.))

Why Polly didn’t watch Elementary last night.

Pithy fast-paced banter.
Unrelenting dedication to Justice.
Inductive reasoning.
Modernization of the literary cannon that gave rise to an entire genre of detective fiction.

WHY did I not plan my week around watching this pilot?

Because unless you look like this, I care nothing for your detectivey sexual tension.

More nonsense from the Patriarchy

UGH.

Nonsensical as an adjective may have gone out of style with the empire-waisted gowns of Austen heroines, but I vote we bring it back and apply its offensively missish connotations to the Illinois appeals court.

Because nonsensical is precisely the correct descriptive adjective for a ruling that gives pharmacists the right to decide – on a whim – whether or not it is morally acceptable for a specific customer to purchase emergency contraceptive.

That’s right, folks. In Illinois your pharmacist has the final say. (Or, double ugh, your pharmacist’s corporate head which, as we all know, is now a person.)

Translation: You look like you’re doing the walk of shame; I judge you; I will teach you a lesson in consequences for your actions.

Patriarchy, why you gotta be a dick?

How to Be a Woman: Mixed Feelings add up to “Meh”

Feeling 1: Hooray for funny women and feminism and actually talking about instead of around things.

Feeling 2: HTBAW took me a month to read… and another month to review. While I admit to being a bit promiscuous when it comes to books and reading, a funny and engaging book about a subject near and dear to my heart (smart, witty women overcoming the Patriarchy) should have taken me a week, maybe two – not four. (And as a definite sharer when it comes to books, I should have been ALL OVER this review weeks ago.)

Still, HTBAW is refreshingly straightforward and unabashedly rooted in personal experience – Moran doesn’t try to be her adolescent hero Germaine Greer. She is herself. Candid, occasionally crude, always writing with an eye to the humor. (She is a comedienne, after all.)

But I feel I must stress: sometimes (a lot of the time) the funny got in the way of Moran’s larger point. (See: chapter headings like “I start bleeding!” or “I become furry!”, etc.) I laughed, I winced, I didn’t cry (but then, I don’t) and I nodded my head a lot. If you enjoyed The Ugly Truth or Knocked Up and you are generally given to disparaging the Patriarchy in terms as sarcastic as possible, you will not hate this book. Neither will you love it.