Tag Archives: DIY

Penny’s Saturday Night Partner

11 Mar

Much like the young eighteenth century bride my skin tone indicates I should have been, I approached the night of my union to Mr. DeWalt with trepidation and no little excitement. Betrothed a scant two-and-a-half months (he proposed on Christmas!), I was at once anxious for the promise of consummation, yet shy of his prowess and penetrating reputation.


Saturday dawned bright and clear; a knock heralded the arrival of my mother and father, anxious to begin preparations. While Mother and I bustled about ironing and tweaking a fold here or there to get the fabric to hang just so, Father took DeWalt aside. Over by the windows, DeWalt strove valiantly to impress my father with his strength and speed; Mother looked on with indulgent fondness and I with awe. Finally – finally! – the deed was done, the freshly hung curtains drawn against the chill March night, and we waved Mother and Father goodbye after strong admonitions to beware the sensitive trigger and reassuring words (“You are working on the backside; if you make a mistake, just reposition and try again – no one will know”).

Alone, at last, we sprawled together on the carpet. Continue reading

DIY – Painted Area Rug

28 Jan

or How to Make a Batman Rug

or How to Win at Girlfriending

Oxford Comma’s birthday was this weekend which naturally meant I purchased party hats, silly straws, streamers, and superhero balloons from the grocery store.

Fictional Conversation:
Cashier: Aww, how old is your son?
Me: 26. And he’s a great kisser.

Actual Conversation:
Me: It probably looks like I have a four-year-old son but this is all actually for my boyfriend.
Cashier: No one’s too old for Cookie Monster hats!
Me: RIGHT???!!!

And what better gift for a twentysomething with a job and bills than a Batman rug for his big boy bedroom?

Several months ago while on a Pinterest binge I came across a painted pattern on an otherwise boring area rug, and truth be told I’ve been waiting for an excuse to try this out ever since. It’s extra fun, crazy addicting, and I’m now accepting commissioned projects. Below is my step-by-step guide for turning a relatively inexpensive 5×7 area rug into a pretty special present for a guy who desperately needs to make his room look less like a solitary confinement cell.

Step 1: Outline the border and mark the center of the rug with painter's tape.

Step 1: Outline the border and mark the center of the rug with painter’s tape.

This really is the most difficult part of the entire rug painting project. Making sure the tape lines are straight and equidistant from the edge is a tedious process, but following a modified version of the old Habitat for Humanity catchphrase certainly helped: “Measure twice, paint once.” I placed down large poster frames to mark out the straight lines, but use whatever you have at your disposal!

Step 2: Sketch out your design.

Step 2: Sketch your design.

This was an exercise in tracing and patience. I searched “1989 Batman logo” (because my boyfriend has a favorite Batman logo) on google images and hit “command +” until it was a size I liked. Of course, then the logo was far larger than my computer screen so I traced a bit, moused over, traced a bit more, etc. Afterwards, I taped together all the paper I used like a giant puzzle. There is most definitely an easier way to do this, but it probably involves the Staples Copy Center and money I don’t want to spend.

Step 3: Transfer design onto painter's tape.

Step 3: Transfer design onto painter’s tape.

I drew over the paper design with chalk, and then rubbed it onto a patch of painter’s tape centered on the area rug. Super easy. And those are my pajama-clad knees. Hi, knees! Continue reading

We are alike in many things… in others, we are not

14 Nov

Penny: I would really like for this awesome handmade Christmas ornament on Etsy to be… $10 less expensive so I could be done with the what-to-give-the-aunts-and-uncles conundrum.

Polly: You could totally make those for < $2 a piece.

Penny: But howwwwwwwwwww?

Polly: Wire (coat hanger? maybe??), buttons, beads, hot glue, ribbon…

Penny: But it would take so long.

Polly: Mmmm. Maybe ten minutes at the outside.

Penny: And I would never be able to make that shape.

Polly: I am not even going to dignify that with a response. (But. The coat hanger head is ALREADY IN THE SHAPE OF A CANE. ‘Nuff said.)

Penny: Idkkkk. Maybe I’ll just go with the napkin rings?


Penny: Just think of the opportunity cost associated with the time spent shopping for all the necessary supplies, the time spent making them, the hot glue burns…


Penny: Hmmm. Maybe it IS worth $26.50 plus shipping and handling. AND it comes wrapped with a gift card. DONE.

Victorian Christmas Candy Cane Ornament on Etsy.

Stuff for your Mason Jar collection.

7 Sep

My name is Polly (“Hi, Polly.”) and I have a jar problem. I cannot resist a mason jar. I backed this kickstarter. I use jars to hold my pet fish, my laundry quarters, my hair accessories, my flour, my sugar, my coffee, etc. Jars. I love ’em. But I’m currently in a jar pickle!* At this distinct moment in time, I have more jars than things to put in jars.

BUT THEN MOLLY SHOWED ME THIS THING! DIY Natural Room Scents. Freshen up your apartment WHILE displaying those classy pieces of container couture. At last, my excess jars can be put to use. Scent #5 (Pine or cedar twigs ((or any other fragrant twigs)), bay leaves, and nutmeg) makes me ALMOST ok with the idea that summer is nearing its end. Almost.

*I detest pickles and I will not use ANY of my jars to contain those atrocities of preserved produce.

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