Textspectations

4 Apr

images

The texts

Circe (SMS): 8pm is fine, the awesome karaoke starts at 9:30 so hope you’re preparing a song.

How I wanted him to respond, without missing a beat:

Nye-al* (SMS): I’m actually taking off the next 2 days of work to practice my falsetto in preparation for my panty-dropping rendition of ‘I Believe a Thing Called Love’.

How he actually responded, 12 hours later:

Nye-al (SMS): Ha. I had already forgotten that it’s a karaoke place. Thanks for the heads up. See you there!

The analysis

Really? You can only manage one “Ha?” Does that mean I’m only half funny? When I say something clever, I like to be acknowledged for my unparalleled wit. Also, did you think I was actually kidding? Because I wasn’t. My rendition of Goodbye Earl is gonna be legen….wait for it…dary. Already picked out my rhinestone cowboy boots and matching shovel. Everyone knows karaoke is all about the accessories.

I swear to gods, if he gets up there and starts singing some half-assed, unchoreographed, unaccessorized rendition of  Arms Wide Open by Creed, or really anything by Creed, I will hit him over the head with my shovel.

The conclusion

Penny:  Really, we are too clever** – imagining conversations in our heads with boys never works out well for the boys in real life.

Polly: Feel it out for a while. Sometimes guys can be too witty. And then you can’t tell if he’s quoting something or he actually has a pet snake named Reggie.

*We’ve named him Niall, which is probably pronounced Neil, but which we persist in pronouncing NYE-AL.

**This originally read “smart and erudite” which led to a discussion on finding a less-erudite word for erudite, just in case anyone was wondering.

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2 Responses to “Textspectations”

  1. highfiverson April 5, 2013 at 10:46 am #

    yup – gotta have a karaoke song in your back pocket! Mine is ‘Faith’ by George Michael…. dance moves are included. So what if I have a man voice? And yes… I practice.

    • Circe April 8, 2013 at 8:22 am #

      Ooo “Faith” is a classic! One of my favorite songs ever, and I’m not even ashamed to admit it. Might have to try that one next time!

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