CLU – Latte Boy’s Alternate Universe

22 Jan

In a universe that looks not unlike this one, but is in actuality quite quite different, a Latte Boy met a Girl who always ordered a very large black, iced coffee. One morning Latte Boy screwed up his courage and gave Girl his number. They went for drinks and Latte Boy immediately friended Girl on every online social network he could find.

During their next meeting, Girl listened to Latte Boy’s Love in the Time of an Ex-Wife woes and offered a flimsy excuse about another guy and really they should just be friends. Girl returned once or twice to the coffee shop as a sign of good faith before buying a Keurig, waited a month, and unfriended Latte Boy on the many social media outlets he had invaded.

Many months later, Latte Boy discovered that he and Girl were no longer friends on the Book of Faces. How could this be?! he thought to himself. Surely there has been some sort of accident – a technological glitch! I must refriend her!

In a universe that looks not unlike this one, and is in fact this one, Penny stared incredulously at her phone on Monday afternoon. Not now, she instructed Facebook. Not ever.

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