TEMPT ME NOT WITH YOUR SIREN SONGS OF SAMOAS.

11 Jan

There are a few things for which I have notoriously low resistance.

  1. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.Grandiose musical key changes. 
  2. PG movies promoting family values and togetherness.
  3. Self-aware, low budget scifi.
  4. Men with sesquipedalian prowess.
  5. Girl Scout cookies.

I was a proud Girl Scout from Daisies through Cadets. After that I was still a Girl Scout but our dwindled numbers were sort of in hiding. While making it to Senior and earning your Gold Award is prime college application fodder, it isn’t exactly the thing I wanted to broadcast to the population of high school males who were already not interested in me.

But MAN were we good at cookies. While we made bank whenever myself and the rest of Troop 347 would stand outside the local grocery store in cookie costumes setting the bait for passersby with plenty of cash, the most successful tactic was The Sister Act. My objectively adorable blonde-haired, blue-eyed, petite and shy little sister would sit in our Radio Flyer wagon surrounded by boxes of Thin Mints, Tagalongs, All-Abouts, and Samoas. In my badge-laden vest and matching hat, I’d pull her from house to house and together we preyed on the sentiments of our hungry neighbors. It was foolproof.

Their piercing polyester eyes will penetrate your soul.

Their piercing polyester eyes will penetrate your soul.

Anyway. Now that I’m a grown-up (ha) with a job and bills and stuff, I’m constantly accosted with order forms peddled by enthusiastic fathers trying to help their daughters earn a new badge. Perhaps they lack the adorably optimistic, pleading eyes of their eleven-year-old offspring, but just knowing they have Scouts brings me right back to my days singing carols at the nursing home or learning how to change a flat and check tire pressure at the local garage. (Girl Scouts pride themselves on teaching skills a little more relevant than intricate knot-tying.) ((Suck on that, Boy Scouts.)) (((And really, stop being so discriminating. You’re embarrassing yourselves.)))

Cookie Season is in full swing and despite the desperate financial situation I often alude to on this blog, I’m going to be up to my waist in Samoas come April. So if you’d like to share in my cookie horde let me know. I just can’t not buy them.

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One Response to “TEMPT ME NOT WITH YOUR SIREN SONGS OF SAMOAS.”

  1. Ephesos (Effie) January 13, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

    ME! NONE of my coworkers even have daughters, let-alone cookie-selling-aged daughters. How I pine for a full box of samoas and a handful of thin mints.

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