I’ve determined that perhaps it would be best for my mental health to develop a non-unrequited crush and ignore Gym God for the nonce.
With this in mind, I cast my gaze around the gym and quickly settled on the nicely muscled, tastefully tattooed (I have issues) male of above average height perusing the cardio equipment in the next row.
When next I looked over he had turned on his individual TV (schmancy, I know) and the channel was tuned to… JEOPARDY!*
Then he changed the channel.
I immediately lost interest.
*No joke, ‘Alex’ and ‘Trebek’ were my second and third words ever, respectively. First word: Daddy-ae (he fed me my bottle during Jeopardy, giving me nightly nourishment in the form of both warm milk and the silver-haired fox pictured above; obviously Penny’s Hierarchy of Needs goes: food –> silver fox spouting useless random facts –> bedtime story –> lullabye –> sleep) ((Note: this is probably still true)).