Inner Dialogue – Christmas Spirit

28 Nov

Polly hung her decorative felt tree and set up her tasty German chocolate advent calendar (courtesy Tory) while Burl Ives’ mellifluous tones filled the apartment. Despite the cheer that surrounded her she was yet unsure of how to feel, so Polly’s Shoulder Angel and Devil wasted no time chiming in.

Polly’s Shoulder Devil – Bah humbug.
Polly’s Shoulder Angel – Why so glum, Shoulder Devil? It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
PSD – Your merriness, much like that venti peppermint mocha you wasted our money on yesterday, nauseates me.
PSA – We’re blogging from bed, in a snuggie, to the cheerful sounds of our Swingin’ Christmas Pandora station! What could possibly have you feeling so downright grinchy?
PSD – Oh? Really? You want a recap of all the reasons why my heart is justifiably two sizes below average this time of year? Let’s see… Well there was that time four Christmases ago when we were being cheated on. Then the time three Christmases ago when we actually found out about it. Then the time two Christmases ago when you believed in third chances… That was more or less a triple decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.
PSA – Right, but-
PSD – And then the whole fact that scheduled gift-giving removes all sincerity from the ceremony which then becomes a financial obligation instead of an honest display of affection and love.
PSA – I told you to give Marx a rest during the holidays, Shoulder Devil!
PSD – Yuletide gaiety is the opiate of the masses.
PSA – Good gravy! Getting you to crack a seasonal smile is more difficult than asking Santa for an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle.
PSD – And through all these decked-out disasters we were mocked by endless sappy jewelry commercials and ads as far as the eye could see. Barf.

This beautiful, unparalleled hat magically appeared to myself and my father in a mall kiosk many Christmases ago. No similar hat has been found since. It was a yuletide miracle.

PSA – Well reasoned arguments, Shoulder Devil, but that relationship is over and gone, we live in lovely new surroundings, we haven’t been watching nearly as much television lately, and finding the perfect gift for a person is so fun! Those haunting specters of Christmas past need not spoil Christmas present!
PSD – Says you.
PSA – Attitude is a choice! Why spend the season wallowing in the less than satisfactory memories of yore when we could be making excellent new ones? Now’s the perfect time to turn that frosty frown upside down. At the model train exhibit! In our favorite Christmas hat!
PSD – Well, I mean, everyone likes mini trains, right? And that hat is amazing.
PSA – See, there’s the Christmas spirit! Oh Shoulder Devil, you sleigh me.
PSD – But I’m holding strong on that Zeusawful Mariah Carey song.
PSA – Oh, agreed. That thing is objectively atrocious. Thumbs down.


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