Penny and Polly are geographically reuniting for another glorious weekend! This time, on Polly’s turf. Which means…
Polly: I’m a little nervous! Oxford Comma is meeting Mom this weekend.
Penny: Mom? But… Pol. Did you forget I am coming this weekend?!
AM I MOM????!!!?!?!
Question: Am I more or less scary than your stoic, too cool, teenaged sister?
Polly: I don’t know… Because if either of you don’t like him, I will hear it way more from you than The Silent One.
Penny: Hey! I didn’t like Thebes, and you knew, but I didn’t beat you over the head with it. And I had le-gi-ti-mate reasons to not like Thebes*. If I don’t like Oxford Comma it will be because I don’t like people, which you can safely ignore.
*Reasons: Trench coat, snakeskin boots, gelled hair, general air of menace, general air of disdain feeding the menace, his cigar smoke stanking up my airspace, that awful electronic shit he played at abnormally high volumes (it would make even a robot’s ears bleed), his godawful cologne stanking up my airspace when he wasn’t smoking a cigar, his chef hat**, those creepy-ass alien drawings he doodled all over everything…
**I did appreciate that he always helped clean up the kitchen after Taco Thursdays. I forgave a lot for that. (Ed. Note: Avoiding household chores never numbered among Thebes’ flaws. Also, I got him that hat. And a wok! For Christmas! -Polly) ((Ed.’s Ed. Note: No need to be conciliatory; you broke up. Some ostensibly practical gifts are meant to be decorative. See: any antique ever. Could you use that potato masher? Sure! Should you? No! LEAD POISONING!! -Penny) ((Note on the Ed.’s Ed. Note: Actually, probably not lead poisoning. But. Still, no; they rust easily.))