Advice to Men in Bars

31 Oct

If you approach a woman in a bar,

A.) Do not begin your interaction by poking an element of her Halloween costume. This is not Facebook and you are not friends.

B.) The burden of conversation is on you, not her friend (me) who against all reason feels for your awkward soul.

[Polly, Molly, and two friends sit at a bar casually chatting during Halloweekend. A strange uncostumed man pokes a prop element of Molly’s costume.]

Strange Man presented himself in a manner completely unlike this.

Strange Man – Boop! [Stands there.]
Molly – Hi?
Molly – Thanks.
Strange Man – [Stands there.]
Polly – What is your costume?
Strange Man – Oh, I don’t do Halloween. I’m not from America. [Stands there.]
Polly – … Where are you from?
Strange Man – New Zealand. [Stands there.]
Molly – They don’t celebrate Halloween in NZ?
Strange Man – No, they do. [Stands there.]
[Awkward staring.]
Polly – What brings you here?
Strange Man – Work. [Stands there.]
[The sound of silence.]
Polly – What kind of work?
Strange Man – Film.
Polly – Oh, me too!
Strange Man – [Stands there.]
[Stands there.]
[Stands there.]
[Polly and Molly do their best to pretend Strange Man isn’t standing there.]
[They fail.]
Strange Man – Sorry for intruding.
Molly – It’s ok…?
Strange Man – [Stands there.]


Polly – Your humorously long abreevs often escape me.
Molly – Lord I am thankful I am not a single girl at this moment.



One Response to “Advice to Men in Bars”

  1. Ephesos (Effie) November 7, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    Oh, I can only imagine how cute New Zealand man could have been (you know i’m a sucker for those kiwi’s) if he only weren’t so socially awkward! Fun fact: The ever so accurate Hercules and Xena series’ were both filmed in New Zealand.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

Furor Scribendi

the rage for writing


Just another site

Three Chic Geeks

For the nerdy and proud. Warning: spontaneous geekgasms may occur.

Pretty Feet, Pop Toe

It's just my point of view. Love it or hate it.

I'm Just Sayin'

Are You SURE I Don't Get Paid for This?

The Hand-Written Life

The Official Website of Andrea Kelly

Gen Y Girl

Twentysomething. Annoyed with corporate BS. Obsessed with Gen Y. Not bratty. Just opinionated.

The Unadulterated Truth


this is Val.

Can I Get Ur Number?

Answering the question "Why Am I Single?" one post at a time...

One Awkward Year

wow, this is awkward . . .

%d bloggers like this: