Dating Advice From Middle-Aged Men – Revenge of the Suit

22 Oct

Polly minds her own business in a public park, quietly reading her book and enjoying the temperate fall air. A Middle Aged Man [MAM] in a well-tailored suit, unlit cigar in hand, approaches her.

MAM What is the title?
Polly Pardon?
MAM Of your book? What is the title?
Polly Oh, it’s Emma by Jane Austen. I know it’s a bit ridiculous that I haven’t read it by now considering how much fun I have setting acquaintances up with each other but recently a few friends from college and I decided to read those classics we never quite got to
MAM You must be single.
Polly – Oh… um…
MAM – A beautiful girl in [CITY] on a lovely autumn night reading a book alone? You must be single.
Polly – Actually I’m meeting someone!
MAM – Well you obviously don’t think it’s going anywhere! The second he starts to bore you you’re going to be thinking about getting on the train and taking out your book.
Polly – No, I like this one! I just knew I’d be early and I always have a book with–
MAM – You’re like the woman who always brings coffee to the office. So when a gentleman asks “Would you like to go for coffee?” and she doesn’t really care for him she says–
Polly – I already have coffee, but thank you.
MAM – You’ve said that before, haven’t you?
Polly – Maybe. But really I just knew I’d be early and thought–
MAM – Don’t bring a book if you like this gentleman. Don’t bring that amunition! Because all you’ll want to do is run back home and get back to your story. You’re new to [CITY] aren’t you?
Polly – Not really, I’ve lived close by almost all my life.
MAM – Don’t bring a book.


One Response to “Dating Advice From Middle-Aged Men – Revenge of the Suit”

  1. iammarcello October 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    Great post!

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