Too Awkward for Life

17 Oct

Penny:  Ok, lunchtime!

Sent at 1:06 PM on Wednesday

Penny:  TOO AWKWARD FOR LIFE

Sent at 1:45 PM on Wednesday

Polly:  Do tell!

Penny:

So I am sitting in the sunshine reading AK and smiling at Levin’s naivety when a shadow falls over me, blocking the aforementioned delightful sunshine.

I look up.

It is Lunch Buddy.

“What are you reading?”

“Anna Karenina.”

“What’s that?”

“A Russian novel. But I’m reading it in English.”

[Please note I am not trying to keep this conversation going and my book is STILL OPEN, pen in hand.]

He sits.

“Is it any good?”

 

“I mean…”

“What’s it about?”

“19th century Russia? There are these seven main characters… some adultery… farming…”

Polly: Ugh. People who are reading are not trying to converse.

Penny: Right?! Anyway. It gets better.

“Have you figured out what you’re going to be for Halloween?”

“Actually! Yes! I think I am going to be a binder.”

Debate conversation ensues. Book sadly gets closed.

“Well. I have to get to a meeting.”

“Enjoy?”

He reluctantly stands.

Me: “Have a good day!” I honestly could not be more awkward about this if I tried. Have a good day? Really??

LB: “Thanks.”

I open my book and take out the bookmark, uncap pen.

“What are you doing this weekend?”

Shit. 

Polly: Seeing the guy you’re dating…

Penny:

What do I sayyyyyy? MMF and I have not had any sort of Talk (but he sent me flowers!!! ) and I do NOT want to date Lunch Buddy, but I also don’t want to lie. 

“Ummm. Going to [CITY].”

“Oh.”

He was totally screwing up the courage to ask for something/sometime else…

“Actually. I’m seeing someone… so….”

TOO AWKWARD FOR LIFE WHY COULDN’T I JUST BE LIKE I AM DATING SOMEONE BYE

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????

Polly: HAAA ahahahahAHahahah HA. SEE?? SEEEEEEEEEE?????? IT’S NOT SO EASY, IS IT?

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