Regardless of moral or religious upbringings, most of us are taught some version of Commandment Ten: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s junk. Which makes sense. We should spend our energy being thankful for what we have instead of all the shiny things we don’t. So how terrible am I if, more than coveting the mere possessions of others, I covet entire lives, talents, and artistic achievements? We might as well throw Commandment Two: The false idols thing onto my list of sins, because my admiration for these people boarders on psychotic.
I’m really quite happy with my life. I’m surrounded by love from my family and friends, I believe in the work I do, I’m getting better at self-motivated creativity outside of my job (see: this blog), and my Hobbit-hole apartment is a peaceful escape of Pier 1, Ikea, and Yankee Candle tranquility.
BUT. If I could just steal someone else’s life, if I could possess someone’s mind and soul and time and space, I would without a doubt steal the life of Madeline Kahn: accomplished opera singer, comedienne extraordinaire, foil to Mel Brooks, and delightful human.
BUT. BUT. If I could steal the lives of TWO PEOPLE AT ONCE (I think I read a Goosebumps about this in third grade?), they would be Madeline Kahn and Gilda Radner: the person who singlehandedly convinced John Belushi that women are, in fact, really freaking funny.
I’m just going to side with all those Protestant reformers and say that thinking about sin is not the same as committing sin while I loop this youtube video (Embedding disabled. Booo.) of my favorite funnyladies being awesome together.