Incorrect Assumptions

10 Oct

made last night by the restaurant that prepared my to-go taco salad about my eating preferences.

The company I work for is nice enough to provide us with dinner when we work overtime. But [LOCAL MEXICAN EATERY], please kindly be aware of the following:

  • I do not want to eat my salad one ingredient at a time.
  • I do not want to follow up a forkful of cilantro with a few bites of pure onion.
  • I do not want to wait til the bottom of the bowl to get to my soggy black beans.

And if my salad must be prepared this way in the interest of delivering our meals in a timely manner, then please note that as I attempt to evenly distribute the contents of my fatally overstuffed taco salad bowl:

  • I do not want to spill the bowl’s contents onto the floor of my supervisor’s office and diffuse a Tacobellian aroma that will stubbornly not leave the carpet despite being doused with an entire bottle of Febreze.

Thank you.

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