Preface: My date was LOVELY and Oxford Comma was a GENTLEMAN and my HONOR was not COMPROMISED and I LOVE my FRIENDS but they can CALM DOWN SOMETIMES.
Texts from my Collective Consciences:
Molly: How’s it going? We wanna knowwwwwwwwwww.
Molly: Love BFFL-1, BFFL-A, and me.
Molly: BFFL-A is mad at you/really happy for you.
Molly: BFFL-1 says she better not beat you to your apartment tomorrow afternoon.
Molly: I say “Ssssssllllluuuuuuttttttt” but facetiously.
Molly: Take it slow, woman!
Molly: Said the good shoulder angel.
BFFL-1: Consensus says kiss goodnight, walk away, TAKE IT SLOW.
Molly: Youuuuuuu don’t do anything I wouldn’t!
Molly: Again, kiss goodnight, walk away, take it slow say your three best friends.
BFFL-A: Even though you didn’t tell me anything I’m jumping on the badwagon and saying TAKE IT SLOW. Enjoy the romance!
BFFL-1: Stay with one of us tonight! BFFL-A has a whole extra bedroom.
BFFL-A: Stay at my place tonight :)
Molly: You have three possible crash pads tonight, Pol.
BFFL-A: Are you ok to drive home? I always love it when you stay at Chateau BFFL!
BFFL-A: Seriously, though. Crash with me if you don’t feel like going all the way home!
Molly: Going to bed but CALL ME IF YOU NEED A PLACE TO SLEEP.
Molly: ALL CAPS = SERIOUS MOLLY.
Molly: LET YOUR CONSCIENCE/ME BE YOUR GUIDE.
Oxford Comma: Is everything ok? Your phone is going crazy.
Polly: Sorry, my ladyfriends are out together and they are all apparently EXTREMELY worried about my safety/honor.
Oxford Comma: So, there is a gaggle of women somewhere in the city whom I’ve never met that are highly concerned with my behavior tonight?
Oxford Comma: Should I be frightened?
Polly: Haha, no. Well probably.
My fairygodmothers, on the other hand, will be forgiven. But sometimes I like to sleep:
Penny: Dying of curiosity!
Penny: Did he MURDER you?
Tory: Hope you had fun!
Tory: Good morning!
Tory: Also please reassure me that you weren’t killed and left on the side of the road!