31 Aug
Mom: So you went to that concert for your coworker?
Polly: It wasn’t a concert so much as him singing and playing guitar in the corner of a public golf course club house. But yeah.
Mom: Is he cute? Where’s he from?
Polly: I guess. Texas.
Mom: Is he young?
Polly: Not really, mid 30s probably.
Mom: That’s good. That would be a good age for you, you’re very mature.
Polly: Yeah but what if he never watched the same Nicktoons* I watched? What would we talk about? Or what if it led to something serious? And in a few years he wants babies and I want to stay the hell away from babies forever?
Mom: You’ll change your tune.
Polly: No… Really, Mom. I don’t want kids. I’d rather have-
Together: A boat.
Mom: I said that once.
Polly: No.
Mom: Your biological clock will start nagging you.
Polly: No. Kids are great but I love that part where I-
Together: Give them back.
Polly: Stop it. I don’t even have a biological clock. I-
Together: Babysat too much to ever want kids.
Polly: STOP!
Mom: Give it a few years.


*Lengthy conversations on the philosophical truths presented in Hey Arnold have precipitated all of my successful relationships. The Nancy Spumoni Snowboots Christmas episode** was a flawlessly presented argument for transitioning from a society of “haves vs. have nots” to one based on less tangible fulfillment.

**Shout out to Molly who cries with me every Christmas while we re-watch this episode.

3 Responses to “LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU”

  1. Molpadia (Molly) September 4, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    Oh, Mama Polly. She is so wise (sometimes). I think there was a mix up at the Amazons Factory and I got two biological clocks and you didn’t get any, because AHHH the hormones, Polly. The HORMONES.

    Trying real hard not to cry just thinking about the Hey Arnold Christmas Episode. “Oh, criminy. Not another moral dilemma!” Classic Helga. So beautiful. *Sniff* THE HORMONES.

    • Hippolyta (Polly) September 4, 2012 at 11:46 am #

      That episode is beyond hormones. It goes right for the heartstrings. I’d be concerned for anyone who DIDN’T cry.

  2. Sotorya (Tory) September 4, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    Did you not tell her that we were not there for flirting, but rather for a lovely break from lovely organizing and cleaning?

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