Penny has a dream

30 Aug

The scene: Europe, evening, some bar. I have just “made it big” by virtue of being in the right place at the right time and helping the right person and getting myself ALL OVER the Internet. We are carousing in celebration.

Who: Me (obviously), Circe, Mutual Male Friend (with whom I am contemplating Benefits), my family, random assorted others

The night before, when all of this famous-making was happening, I had been a little distracted and only sort of saw some things. But in returning to the same haunts, things began to come back to me (this was a VERY complicated dream??). Anyway, I am talking to some people, being generally bubbly and happy (for me) when I suddenly remember something.

I turn to Circe and MMF(wwIacB), who are with me, and say, “Were you going to tell me?!”

They both turn guilty shades of pink.

The previous evening, you see, they had kissed, made out, hooked up, whatever you want to call it.

“I’m sorry! It didn’t mean anything! It was a mistake,” Circe cries in apparent distress. (Damn straight you’re distressed. You’ve been caught.)

Silence from MMF. (He knows he’s in deep shit.)

“There IS no excuse. You! <<points at MMF>> You have to know there is no way you will ever sleep with me now. And you <<slants scathing glance at Circe>> how could you?! You’re my best friend. You knew I liked him. There’s no excuse! None!! [Aside: Circe, you are warned.]

I stomp out of the bar and onto the damp, cobblestone street. A man from the bar throws MMF and Circe a disgusted look and follows me out. “Are you ok? Do you need help getting anywhere?”

“I’m fine. I can take care of myself.” (This is, after all, a strange man.)

“It’s dark. You shouldn’t walk alone.”

“Good thing I’m going to take this cab, then.”

Get in the cab, give the driver an address, the door opens and the man gets in.

“WHAT are you DOING?”

“Making sure you get home ok.”

“Please don’t.”

“Cabbie, drive.”

“Cabbie, just take me to the main gate at Glasgow Uni” (AH! Location. Where’s Former Flatmate??)

“Glasgow Uni?”

“I went to school there.”

“I’m Adam.”

“Penny.”

“I know.”

“That’s creepy.”

“You seriously don’t know who I am?”

Looks more closely.

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE ADAM LEVINE”

We go to his hotel because of course Circe and MMF are at mine. There are paparazzi, so he acts like we’re a couple so I can save face. Then I shower and put on a big fuzzy robe and we have tea in his suite while he listens to me whine.

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2 Responses to “Penny has a dream”

  1. Molpadia (Molly) August 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

    YOU HAD A DREAM WHERE YOU MET ADAM LEVINE AND YOU DIDN’T SEX THAT?! Sorry Pen, I’m judging dream you’s decisions.

    • Penthesilea (Penny) August 30, 2012 at 9:05 pm #

      Dream me went on to marry and live happily ever after with one A. Levine. Let this be a lesson ladies! Don’t give it up on the first (dream) date! Drink tea instead.

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