Commuting Capers

29 Aug

In honor of Allstate releasing data on the 25 Cities with the Worst Drivers today (DC and Baltimore rank 1 and 2. We are so surprised), I offer you my thoughts on driving and my idiot fellow commuters.

1. Your commute is not more important than my commute, and even our combined commutes are evidently not more important than the commute of that blue Ford Focus zipping up the shoulder past the line of traffic.

2. Blinkers can be as effective as giving the one finger salute to that person who won’t let you over. Nudge your way over, begin to settle in your lane, then flick your blinker for a second or two. The “token” blinker, the new, passive aggressive way to say: I changed lanes, hope you noticed!

3. There are a lot of people on the road these days! Following distance can and will be filled! (Just don’t rear end me or I will sue your hybrid-driving ass seven ways to Sunday.)

*I reserve the right to expand on one or more of these in the future as commuting is an ongoing frustration.

OH! And.

4. If you are a tourist in DC. FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS do not drive. If you must, never during rush hour. Also: stand right, walk left on the Metro. Thanks.


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