Get In, Loser

14 Aug

(We’re Going Shopping)

Welcome to Molly’s niche corner here at P and P. Three main things distinguish Molly from Penny and Polly – a committed (dysfunctional) relationship, natural Amazonian height (sorry, ladies), and the ability to rack up thousands of dollars of credit card debt faster than a speeding bullet. Here she’ll share all the things you never knew you needed.

Hello, fellow shopping enthusiasts! Today, from the department of hipster nonsense I like to call Urban Outfitters, I bring you The WineRack.

“Classic sports bra with a built-in “bladder” to hold 25oz of your favorite beverage. Not recommended for size DD, as your cups will overflow – literally” 

For all those times you were at the gym and thought, “Man, I could really go for a nice Merlot,” the WineRack is available for a mere $35 at your local Urban Outfitters, or available online here. Guys, it’s even machine washable. I’m sold.

Wait, what’s this? “This item does not comply with California Proposition 65.”

A quick google search will show you that Prop 65 is an effort to stop the manufacturing and sale of carcinogenic plastics. Consume wine from a tube out the side of your boobs while on the elliptical at your own risk, ladies. (Or bros.)

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2 Responses to “Get In, Loser”

  1. Hippolyta (Polly) August 14, 2012 at 3:02 pm #

    My cups runneth over!

    Wine can of thy tits beguile, make the sage frolic, and the serious smile.

    Drink to me only with thine eyes,
    And I will pledge with mine;
    Or leave a kiss but in the cups,
    And I’ll not look for wine.

    Etc.

  2. stonegirl42 August 14, 2012 at 3:27 pm #

    BUT I CAN’T HAVE IT BECAUSE BOOBS. ::sads::

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