Anecdote No. 2 – Scenes from an Old Haunt

23 Jul

Two friends walk into a coffee shop…

Scene 1. One of those faces
Polly: Did he used to be heavier?
Penny: No, no I think he used to be skinny.
Polly: I think he was a year below us… or maybe two years above us?
Penny: I could just ask him.
Polly: Ask him what?
Penny: If he went to [ANY COLLEGE].
Polly: But we know he went to [ANY COLLEGE].
Penny: Yea, but he doesn’t know that I know that he went to [ANY COLLEGE].
Polly: So, I guess he lives around here now.
Penny: Unless he was actually two years below us.
Polly: Awkward staring just happened.
Penny: On all sides.
Polly: Write this down. WRITE THIS DOWN.

Scene 2. Always pick a window seat
Polly: I know exactly what you’re looking at
Penny: <<As a desert wanderer, spotting an oasis>> So you see it, too??
Polly: What?
Penny: They’re attractive.
Polly: So why do you look so confused?
Penny: <<with dazed incomprehension>> Those men. They’re so attractive.
Polly: Yes, attractive men do occur in nature.

Scene 3. Old habits
Penny: <<devouring a scone>> They didn’t have any muffins. No muffins!
Polly: And there’s a parking attendant!
Penny: I know! I had to park a block away. On the street.
Polly: Seriously, what happened to trusting customers not to exploit the good faith “Parking for [UNFRIENDLY RESTAURANT CONGLOMERATE] only?”?
Penny: The Internet still sucks though. I’m having trouble pulling up WordPress.
Polly: At least some things didn’t… OH MY GOD I JUST NOTICED THE WALLS.
Penny: Not all change is good.
Polly: Not at all.
Penny: Ok, so. Let’s get down to business.
Polly: …to defeat the Huns. HUH!
Penny: How long has it been since we’ve sat in [ONLY ESTABLISHMENT ON THE BLOCK NOT BELONGING TO UNFRIENDLY RESTAURANT CONGLOMERATE]?
Polly: Since senior year finals, at least.
Penny: And yet even without schoolwork we’re still tapping on a laptop.
Polly: At least some things didn’t… SINCE WHEN DID THEY START SERVING FROYO?

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